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Attacked by a Wild Monster

I don’t know where it came from. Or what it wanted. But the door opened, I barked, and suddenly it was all over me, hair flying. 




The Monster who attacked me

My Pal Spot

This is my new friend Spot.


He’s just six months old and is about to visit the vet.

When he comes back he won’t be quite as frisky for awhile.

But soon he will be even better than before.

See Spot Sniff.







See Spot… I hate it when this happens!  (and it always happens)

Spring Breaaaaaaak!

It’s Good To Be Alpha!  Ain’t these some fine bitches to party with?

A Hard Case

So I screwed up, see? I used to run with this cute little bitch. Until I heard she was yelping and whining about me, that I traveled too much, that I was such a hard case, that I was so stuffed that I had to be carried into a car. Stuff like that.

Turns out she wasn’t talking about me at all. She was talking about my exclusive line of luggage.


Sheesh. I gotta be the stupidest canine since the first Labrador Retriever.




There is Nothing Like A Pizzle

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We got sunlight on the park, we got moonlight on the sea

We got pine cones and berries you can chew right off a tree
We got Frisbies and collars and raincoats for the drizzles
What ain’t we got, we ain’t got pizzles

We get doggie bags from home, we get TV, we get shows
We get speeches from our mistress and growls from our foes
We get chew toys made from leather, we get dizzy from the smell
What don’t we get, you know darn well

We feel restless, we feel blue, we feel lonely and in grief
We feel every kind of feeling but the feeling of relief
We feel hungry as the wolf felt when he met Red Riding Hood
What don’t we feel, we don’t feel good

Lots of things in life are beautiful but – brother
There is one particular thing that is nothing whatsoever
In any way, shape or form like any other
There is nothing like a PIZZLE, nothin’ in the world
There is nothing with the sizzle of an authentic PIZZLE

Nothin’ else is built the same, nothin’ in the world
As a tough and chewy sinew, like the shlong of a gnu
(Apologies to Oscar Hammerstein II )

New Shoe Chew

If they’d let me, I’d vote for Mr. Romney. That’s because he makes me think of my favorite thing (aside from food and snuggling with Mommy): Flip flops. I love flip flops. All sizes, all colors, but especially pink. And blue.  Okay, any shoe color that Mommy has ever worn. Some dogs like to stare at the TV or turn over wastebaskets and root through the contents, but I love shoes. Flip flops.  I hope some day to meet Mr. Romney, so I can chew on his shoes. He must be a nice man, Mr. Romney. Yeah, I know he was mean to Seamus that one time, but Seamus is mostly to blame because he let himself be strapped into that rooftop carrier. I mean, he’s got teeth, right? Anyway,  I want to meet Mr. Romney  because he’s all about flip flops and I am just crazy for flip flops. Although I wouldn’t turn down an Etch-A-Sketch, if one was left laying around.